tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47934007221557010772024-03-07T22:37:57.309-08:00mahonestmahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-86574138978730602842014-12-27T18:17:00.001-08:002014-12-27T18:17:11.828-08:00Thoughts...I feel like I am still in shock. That the next time I go to church I'm going to see Derrik and he is going to be smiling and laughing like I usually see him. I hardly knew Derrik, we've barely spoken, but I knew who he was. He was a good man, he loved his kids. He was a member of my church family, and in his passing it is like I've lost one of my own family. I'm still in denial.<br />
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As someone who has experienced death on more than one occasion, I can say from experience how easy it is to get angry with God. Why him? Why now? He was too young.<br />
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As believers, when a loved one is sick, we pray. We ask God to heal them, take the sickness away. Then when God calls them home, in our grief and suffering, we cry out to Him. What we don't understand is that God did just what we asked Him to do. God healed Derriks body of the cancer by calling him home! Derrik got to rejoice and receive his homecoming on Jesus' birthday. So Derrik is no longer in pain or suffering. In fact, maybe we can be a little envious that he got there before us. Who knows, maybe he is even re-doing the floors in heaven.<br />
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I think it's okay to be sad, to grieve, feel angry...God has broad shoulders...He can handle it. As long as we remember that He hasn't abandoned us. He is always with us, walking beside us or even carrying us through the storm. That in him, we can rejoice and have hope.<br />
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"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11<br />
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"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-5753548187453668862014-01-18T07:20:00.001-08:002014-01-18T07:20:09.412-08:00Jesus Calling - January 18"Breathe deep draughts of My Presence and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!"<div><br></div><div>I'm gonna make it. Holding onto hope and doing my best to trust that YOU are in control. Knowing that You have something glorious for my future is a good feeling.</div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 118:24 - This <i>is </i>the day that the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-3115425157357551972014-01-17T14:30:00.001-08:002014-01-17T14:30:17.601-08:00Jesus Calling - January 16,17"I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust."<div><br></div><div>I went into this day unsure if the future, and as the day progressed, I a. ,earning to not trust my feelings, and have a renewed hope for the future.</div><div><br></div><div>Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God <i>is </i>with you wherever you go.</div><div><br></div><div><b>January 17 </b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"Stay in continued communication with Me so that you can live above your circumstances even while you are in the midst of them."</div><div><br></div><div>Thank You for all that You have given me, and all You are going to give me. I have been blessed beyond what I could ever imagine. Thank You.</div><div><br></div><div>2 Corinthians 4:17 - For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding <i>and </i> eternal weight of glory.</div><div><br></div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-6101688724323835622014-01-17T14:22:00.001-08:002014-01-17T14:31:25.540-08:00Jesus Calling - January 14, 15<div><b>January 14</b></div><div><br></div>"Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My peace."<div><br></div><div>Maybe all this time I've been telling people I feel so far from You it'd been exactly the opposite. Maybe I was too blinded by my situation to see You...</div><div><br></div><div>Romans 8:38-39 - for I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.</div><div><br></div><div><b>January 15</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face-to-face with me, your Peace. As long ad you focus on Me, you are safe."</div><div><br></div><div>These are the reminders I need. Thank You. I will try to keep searching, trusting and hoping.</div><div><br></div><div>Philippians 4:17 - and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus</div><div><br></div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-58345373655558746142014-01-13T18:06:00.001-08:002014-01-13T18:06:20.737-08:00Jesus Calling - January 12, 13<b>January 12</b><div><b><br></b></div><div>"You'd feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize what is on the road ahead. However, there is a better way to be prepared for <i>whatever</i> you will encounter today: Spend quality time with Me."</div><div><br></div><div>Some days the unknown is thrilling and exciting, some days it is exactly the opposite. Today I wish I could see the map. Help me dins peace with the unknown and with Your plan...</div><div><br></div><div>Exodus 33:14 - And He said, "My presence will go <i>with you </i> and I will give you rest."</div><div><br></div><div>Rest is the very thing I need.</div><div><br></div><div><b>January 13</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"Trust that I am with you each moment, whether you sense My presence or not, A thankful, trusting attitude helps you to see events in your life from My perspective."</div><div><br></div><div>So many times lately I have said how I feel so far from You. And yet here You are with ANOTHER gentle reminder that you're right here. Help me to trust you with <b>every </b>aspect of my life.</div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 118:24 - This <i>is</i> the day that the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank You...</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-84424720545868606862014-01-13T17:53:00.001-08:002014-01-13T17:53:38.035-08:00Jesus Calling - January 10, 11<b>January 10th</b><div><b><br></b></div><div>"Practise trusting Me during quiet days, when nothing seems to be happening. Then when storms comes your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through."</div><div><br></div><div>I dint think my trust balance has been sufficient, because the storm is here and I'm not sure how well I'm handling it.</div><div><br></div><div>Matthew 6:20-21 - but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>January 11th</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me. Speak to Me candidly, pour out your heart."</div><div><br></div><div>You keep telling me to trust You. I am trying. The silence makes it hard.</div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 46:10 - Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-72308766584004164272014-01-09T18:26:00.001-08:002014-01-09T18:26:07.361-08:00Jesus Calling - January 7,8,9I fell a little bit behind. January 8 resonated pretty well with me right now...<div><br></div><div><b>January 7</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"When you thank Me for the many pleasures I provide, you affirm that I am God, from whom all blessings flow."</div><div><br></div><div>I am blessed beyond what words can describe. In my own selfishness I failed to give You thanks. And the blessings keep on coming...</div><div><br></div><div>1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In everything give thanks, for this is the will if God in Christ Jesus for you.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>January 8</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"The weaker you are, the more gently I approach you. Let your weakness be a door timMy presence, whenever you feel inadequate, remember that I am your <i>ever-present Help.</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div>Thank You for showing up. The feeling if being inadequate overwhelms me sometimes. Thank You for Your gentle reminders of Your presence when I feel so far from you. </div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 46:1 God <i>is </i>our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>January 9</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>"If you want to stay close to Me and do things My walk ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment."</div><div><br></div><div>I know Your timing is perfect. Please give me patience and understanding.</div><div><br></div><div>Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing will be impossible</div><div><br></div><div>This one I have already underlined in my bible..</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-34990989909189838412014-01-06T16:16:00.001-08:002014-01-06T16:16:42.373-08:00Jesus calling - January 6th"Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life."<div><br></div><div>God has taught me many times to trust in His faithful provision. I need to trust He is working in this situation...</div><div><br></div><div>Ephesians 3:20-21 - Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to him <i>be </i>glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-48418849862971853012014-01-05T16:47:00.001-08:002014-01-05T16:47:57.746-08:00Jesus Calling - January 5th"It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness, that you learn to rely on Me."<div><br></div><div>I need You now ,ore then ever. I feel weak and needy. Help me learn to depend on You. Let me feel Your presence...</div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 34:17-18 - <i>The righteous </i>cru out, and the LORD hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD <i>is </i>near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.</div><div><br></div><div>And then You answered my prayer. I'm awed, humbled and amazed.</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-53232543344149501682014-01-04T19:59:00.001-08:002014-01-04T19:59:57.608-08:00Jesus Calling - Jan 3rd and 4th<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">January 3rd </span></div><div><br></div><div>"Do not be weighed down with problems and unresolved issues, for I am your burden-bearer." </div><div><br></div><div>If I had read this yesterday instead of today, it would of been helpful. Gods perfect timing though </div><div><br></div><div>John 16:33 - these things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulations, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."</div><div><br></div><div>Again, Gods perfect timing..</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>January 4th</div><div><br></div><div>"I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying "I trust You, Jesus" in response to whatever happens to you."</div><div><br></div><div>Again, Gods perfect timing. I will do my best Lord. Please catch me when I fall because I feel like I'm falling sometimes.</div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 139:7-10 - Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?</div><div>If I ascend into Heaven, You <i>are</i> there. If I make my bed in hell, behold, <i>You are there.</i></div><div><i>If </i>I take the wings of the morning <i>and </i>dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, </div><div>Even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-12631622678331647952014-01-04T19:46:00.001-08:002014-01-04T19:46:20.831-08:00Jesus Calling - Jan 1st and 2nd So my blog has been dead for quite some time now. I've been wanting to resurrect it for a while, and I finally got the opportunity, as long as I ca stick with it.<div><br></div><div>I was fives the Jesus calling devotional for Christmas, and I thought I would like to blog my progress. The idea is to read daily, and devote some time with God each day as you go through this book. It's got scripture verses which are fitting to the days topic I guess, some are incredibly right on the mark. So here goes...</div><div><br></div><div>January 1st</div><div><br></div><div>"Be aware that I am fully attentive to you. I see you with a steady eye because my attention span is infinite."</div><div><br></div><div>Jesus is reminding me of my favourite verse - Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."</div><div><br></div><div>I am reminded that while I might not know what MY future looks like, whether it be with my work or my personal life, HE does, and with that I have to have peace. God is good.</div><div><br></div><div>January 2nd</div><div>"As you spend time with Me, your thoughts tend to jump ahead to today's plans and problems." </div><div><br></div><div>He knows me so well. How much more peace would I have if I just settle and listen to Him? Thank you Lord for the reminder..</div><div><br></div><div>Psalm 105:4 - seek the LORD and His strength, seek. His face evermore." </div><div><br></div><div>I love these gentle reminders !</div>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-5488377201508352292012-08-17T05:08:00.001-07:002012-08-17T05:08:12.042-07:001000 gifts: Day 27Oh good grief! I've been a little lazy. I'm getting into this habit where I think of things to be greatful for at work, and then I can't write, and I forget, or I get to this "oh I'll do it in five minutes" an then five minutes never comes.<br />
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Number 66 is my favorite right now. Sometimes my prayers are really small, and for seemingly unimportant things, but I wonder if those are the ones that God uses to "nudge" me with. Often I'll pray for the rain to stop or slow down so I can get to work without getting drenched. He did this for me last week. The rain slowed enough for me to go wait for my ride to work and I didn't get drenched. Wednesday's night shift at work was rough. Everyone was cranky with each other and taking out their frustrations on each other. I prayed for this past nights shift to be better, and although the line didn't always run great, everyone was in a better mood. That's an answered prayer to me. It was a good night. <br />
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60. Revealing bible study homework<br />
61. Awesome neighbour who drives me to do my groceries<br />
62. Colorful ballpoint pens<br />
63. Sharpies<br />
64. Artistic friends<br />
65. Back to school supplies<br />
66. Answered prayer<br />
67. Rides home from work<br />
68. God's amazing provision <br />
69. Cheese ragu<br />
70. Peanut butter & mint chocolate oreos.mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-81802436334462997682012-08-03T04:36:00.001-07:002012-08-03T04:37:15.490-07:001000 gifts: Day 13Whoops, I missed some time.<br />
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It's funny because today I'm not really in the mood to write this blog. I had an incredibly frustrating night at work, caused mainly by one bad apple who shall remain nameless. I don't know why I let it get to me so much, but it did. I was frustrated. Now, I have been searching things to be thankful for. For now, it's just a few, but here they are nonetheless<br />
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53. Awesome co workers<br />
54. Crock pot<br />
55. Drumstick McFlurry at 1am<br />
56. Bible verse of the day<br />
57. Chamomile tea<br />
58. Melatonin<br />
59. A full days sleep<br />
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So, my things are few. I'm not sure really how I feel about that. I feel like there should be more, but at the same time, I am starting to have trouble....finding inspiration I guess. Or maybe it's just that I'm letting my mood cloud my vision. Probably why I should really stay focused on the task at hand anyways.<br />
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Maybe I'll have some more when I get up...If you're joining me on this gratefulness journey, I hope you're doing better than I am. :)<br />
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<br />mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-26416274959834656992012-07-29T20:09:00.002-07:002012-07-29T20:09:29.699-07:001000 gifts: Day 7 & Day 9I started writing todays gifts, and I don't have many. I didn't actually want to even write them. I've been doing this study by Jennie Allen called "stuck" and without going into what this weeks homework was, I'll just say it was very convicting. I had a little cry, and I struggled through it. I've been thinking about my list, and feeling kind of guilty, because I thought I could do something at least every day. Then I thought that's next to impossible because when I work the night shift, I either work three days in a row of twelve hour shifts, or four days in a row. So when I'm working, usually all I do is (try to) sleep, and work. Not much room in between for the rest. Now I've been thinking, if I had a thing to be greatful for everything I have an excuse for, I'd be well on my way to finishing my 1000 gifts by now. That said, I am still plugging away, giving my best effort to keep my mind focused on my blessings and gifts, and less on the negative. I may still not post every single day, but I will give it my best efforts to do what I can.<br />
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A friend of mine also said, you're not necessarily meant to do 15 things or more in a day, but the point is to do just the act of being greatful, rather then being ungreatful. Imagine that eh, being totally ungreatful....<br />
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Day 7<br />
44. Public transit<br />
45. Friendly transit drivers<br />
46. Thunder and rain<br />
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Day 9<br />
47. Friendly cab drivers<br />
48. Patio time at my besties<br />
49. Friends who let you whine when they've been awake for 24+ hours<br />
50. Worship music<br />
51. Awesome preachers at church<br />
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That's it for now. How are you doing?mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-5570397136297094022012-07-24T14:38:00.000-07:002012-07-24T14:38:21.330-07:001000 gifts: day 6So I fell off the wagon. I got into this "okay I'll do it in 5 minutes" phase, and the 5 minutes never came. I also started to feel like maybe my things I was greatful for were trivial. Some of the things I have seem text book..."grace...mercy...forgiveness" ...but at the same time, maybe not so much. Without those things, I would just be a sinner, walking around through this life motionless, like a zombie so to speak. I do have a LOT to be thankful for.<br />
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32. Chocolate<br />
33. My bible<br />
34. Acrylic paint<br />
35. Coffee cans<br />
36. Grace<br />
37. Mercy<br />
38. Forgiveness<br />
39. Room darkening curtains<br />
40. Hardwood floors<br />
41. Mouthwash<br />
42. Swiffer mop<br />
43. Homemade gifts<br />
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This might take a while....I'm not sure even if anyone reads my blog. So maybe no one notices if I'm not posting for a few days? I'm not sure. It's kind of fun, but at the same time I look forward to the day where instead of looking for things to be greatful for, the greatfulness for God's awesome creations just comes naturallymahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-91507177651185725362012-07-20T14:46:00.000-07:002012-07-20T14:47:48.750-07:001000 gifts: Day 2I feel like I'm having a little trouble finding things to be greatful for today. Maybe I'm not in the right mindset. I'm not sure. I've got some though, and I'm trying so that's what counts, right? I'm still plugging away, so here's todays results. How are you doing so far?<br />
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15. Fish and chips night at work<br />
16. Comfy warm bed<br />
17. Ear plugs<br />
18. Hot shower<br />
19. Skype<br />
20. Flavoured coffee creamer<br />
21. Homemade strawberry jam<br />
22. Bacon<br />
23. Lip balm<br />
24. Hair dye<br />
25. Hair straightener<br />
26. Hair spray<br />
27. iPod<br />
28. Chocolate Milk<br />
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Okay, so I came up with a few more after I paused for a bit. That's it for today. :-)mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-3875762641815936842012-07-19T14:35:00.002-07:002012-07-19T14:35:28.320-07:001000 Gifts: A projectI was given a challenge on Tuesday. A challenge to draw close to God, and find the good in everyday life. An attempt to, when all we seem to be able to focus on is the negativity in our lives, in the things that go or are going wrong to find the blessings God has given us. To change our way of thinking.<br />
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The book 1000 gifts by Ann tells her story, and she does just that. I don't know much about the book as I've yet to read it, but regardless, with or without reading the book I know this is something I need to do. So, I'm hoping if there is anyone out there that reads my blog, you will come along with me in doing this. 1000 blessings. 1000 things to be thankful for. I can't wait to see how it turns out!<br />
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My goal is to write something every day, as much or as little as possible, and see when my mind changes. Will you join me?<br /><br />1. Eye mask to help me sleep during the day.<br />
2. My big air conditioner<br />
3. Kitty snuggles in the morning<br />
4. Lavendar sprays for sleeping<br />
5. Coffee<br />
6. Ball point pens<br />
7. My blender<br />
8. Ice cream<br />
9. Glasses<br />
10. Contacts<br />
11. Sunglasses<br />
12. Cell phone/text messaging<br />
13. My church family<br />
14. My best friend Trish<br />
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14 things on day one. I'm not sure if that's good or not. I'm SURE it will become easier the closer I get to 1000 and I'm going to want to go well past the 1000 things. This is going to be fun!mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-29509212478434924282012-07-16T20:36:00.004-07:002012-07-16T20:36:45.646-07:00I was a witnessSunday July 15, 2012 is a day that will forever be etched in my brain. God's amazing and awesome works are shown in many things we see, do and experience every single day, but I was awe-struck by what transpired this day.<br />
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Freedom House church normally has it's worship service in the lower level of the market square mall. This particular Sunday they forewent their usual worship service, and offered a "free" baptism service in Harmony Square. Anyone could be baptized, except for babies..as long as they understood what it meant. If you understood that Jesus is your savior and that He died on the cross for your sins and mine. If you knew that you needed and wanted a relationship with Jesus you could be baptized. Amazing!<br />
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They started with a short worship service (amazing job by their worship team), and had two pools set up behind for the baptisms. The rest of the afternoon was pure amazing. People that chose Jesus and chose to be baptized that day were so many, and from so many walks of life. There were young people, old people, there were families. There were different nationalities, there were SO many broken people. My 10 year old nephew (well - he's my best friends youngest - I've made him my nephew because I say so) decided that day he was ready to be baptized.<br />
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I cried. I cried because I was so proud of him for the leap of faith he took, he's so young! I cried when I watched some of the people who were quite obviously broken get baptized. I know that there is healing, hope and a future for them, with Jesus alongside to walk with them! I cried when I watched a man and woman get baptized. They were both differently-abled, he did much of his commuting in a scooter, and she did much of hers in a wheelchair. She was on oxygen. She got up out of her chair and got in the pool and was baptized. Praise the Lord! A woman was baptized who waited 30 years to be baptized. She'd been told she wasn't allowed to, and so she waited 30 years for this very day. Hallelujah!<br />
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It was an amazing day, this particular Sunday. Not often do I feel like a very spiritual person, or do I feel God's presence. I always know He's there, and I've been blessed beyond what I can imagine by him, I just don't always feel it, or recognize it until later. I felt God's presence yesterday. He was definitely there. Probably at least (or more then) 100 people were led to Jesus and baptized. That is so beyond awesome.<br />
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What an awesome way to both end and begin a week...mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-53599011486413717502012-02-10T18:29:00.000-08:002012-02-10T18:29:11.957-08:00All By MyselfI signed up for a creative writing course in the fall, which was suppose to start on January 13th. The course started, without me in it. Since I've been unemployed, I needed the money, I dropped out so I could get the money back. A couple of weeks ago, I decided that if I wasn't going to be able to take the course, I'd attempt to teach myself. I went to the library, and checked out half a dozen books on creative writing, fiction writing, and even one on writing my memoir.<br />
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One area of this book I'm reading through now, it kind of is striking a chord with me. Funny as it sounds, but it's about journaling (not blogging), but I suppose in a way my journal does have some ideas in it. A lot of it is song lyrics, but I think the song lyrics speak to what my life was like at the time, or how it reflected on my personal life. Some of the lyrics were pretty dark and depressing it sounds like, but I never thought about it. I bought this book a bunch of years ago. I went shopping, and spent all kinds of money I shouldn't of spent for my birthday. It's a real nice book, not just a cheap spiral note book, it has a spine and everything. Not all of it is just song lyrics, there are some story ideas, and maybe a couple lame paragraphs where I was whining about how much I thought my life sucked. Really, my life has always been pretty great, I was just at a really dark point where I felt lost and alone I guess. I wouldn't change a thing about my past or my present now.<br /><br />Don't throw out your writing. This is something I've heard time and time again. Lately, all I wanna do is throw out anything I begin. Or, I'll write a few sentences or maybe a paragraph and then scratch it because its "dumb". Guess I won't be doing that anymore. Soon my computer will be crowded with really bad writings :-) I have some "fan-fic" type stories that I still have, but they're so unbelievably bad and unbelievable, it'd really be both embarassing to both myself and the person I subjected to, to read them. One of them is so long, it could be a novel. It's way too long to be a short story, and just long enough to be a small novel maybe. Only if it weren't so terribly lame. Sometimes it is fun to go back and re-read though. If nothing else, they're good for a laugh. For my eyes only.<br />
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Some of these books I've been looking at have a lot of good information. Story structure, ideas, characters, tons of stuff. Though I don't have any ideas yet, I'm excited to go through these books some more, and see what's in store for my creative future. I can't wait for my mind to be as open as it once was, only brilliantly. It's really time to get my award-winning novel going here!mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-48398500729804124722012-01-16T11:33:00.000-08:002012-01-16T11:35:02.133-08:00Anyone out there??<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I haven't written in a little while. I guess I've sort of been overwhelmed with life lately. I got fired from my job on December 5th. They said I wasn't good enough, I didn't have enough initiative or drive. You can't really fix something if you don't know it's broken. I really didn't know anything was wrong until suddenly it was my last day and I was being ushered out the door. My head is still spinning.<br /><br />I've been talking to God about this a lot lately, and every time I wonder how much He listens, I think maybe I should be doing less talking and more listening. He has a habit of showing up for me every time I need Him though, and has taught and is teaching me lessons throughout all of this. Still, it's very stressful.<br /><br />My dad and step-mom have been great throughout all of this too. They're constantly checking in on me, whether it be a phone call or an email, or whatever. They've always been pretty supportive. My step-mom recently suggested I start writing the novel I've been wanting to write. Perhaps the story of my life? I've been stewing over this for a few days now, trying to figure out how, and where to start. I have no idea really. I mean, I kind of do, but it's more like a cable TV with no reception and nothing but static up in my head. There's too much going on. I have a few ideas, so I'm hoping that once I start writing things down or whatever, I'll be able to turn it into something brilliant.<br /><br />Here's hoping...</span>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-32218324223273707302011-11-05T13:53:00.000-07:002011-11-05T13:53:27.515-07:00Walk down memory lane<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is so funny. I am taking an unexpected walk down memory lane today. I found an old filing system my parents gave me a long time ago, with a whole bunch of old documents in it. There were even a dozen or so old backstreet boys posters from my early teenage years. How I love reminiscing sometimes. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love chicken soup for the soul books. I bought this one book a long time ago...Chicken soup for the writers soul. I never could get totally into it to read all the way through it, but apparently I decided at one point I was going to try and write a story about my own experiences with writing to try and enter into the book. I have no idea when I wrote this. Probably before the year 2000, because it was clearly printed out from a printer that wasn't a laser printer. The sides of the page have holes and you can tear them off from the page when it comes out of the printer. The pages are all yellowed.<br /><br />Here is what the story read: </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Looking back now, I realize my love of writing started when I was very young. When I was nine and in grade three, the teacher assigned us a holiday writing assignment. I was absolutely thrilled with this. Even as she was describing what our stories were to be like, I already had an idea for a masterpiece, or so I thought. I wrote a story about a talking Christmas tree. The Christmas tree wanted desperately to be taken to someones home for Christmas and decorated with Christmas decorations and lights. When the teacher saw my story, she made some Christmas tree paper for me, and I rewrote the story on the paper, and I had a Christmas tree shaped book. I ended up getting an A+ on the assignment.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In grade five, the teacher assigned yet another writing assignment. She told us to let our imaginations run wild, and write about whatever we wanted. I wrote about a big purple blob who chased two girls around a house, trying to make them blobs as well. The teacher loved my story and gave me an A on that assignment as well.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first time I got paid for something I wrote was in grade six and it was for a poem I had written. Our teacher was teaching us how to write poems and over a period of a few weeks, we wrote many poems. The teacher then helped us pick out our two best poems, and they were submitted to the school board for a book of poetry they put out each year. A couple of months later, my teacher announced that two people from my class had a poem in the book. It was a fellow student and I. I got paid fifty cents for that poem, and I was so proud! Fifty whole cents! It was a big deal to me not only because I got paid for it, but because something I wrote myself was in a book.<br /><br />After that, my love of writing became a hobby. My best friend and I wrote fantastic stories about someone we didn't like at the time. We'd write thing like the person was at the county fair on the Ferris wheel and the seat she was riding in flew off. Wed also write that the person was walking down the street and got attacked by a mean-people eating monster. As we got older, our stories became less fantastic and more exciting and interesting. We grew to love music almost as much as we loved writing. Our stories became fan-fiction stories about our favourite band.<br /><br />When in high school, people started deciding what they were going to be if they hadn't already, and working towards that. I, on the other hand had an extremely difficult time deciding. I didn't know what my talents were or where I fit in. Finally I settled on being a Developmental Service Worker (DSW), because I loved working with children. One day though, my moms' friend said to me, "Why don't you go to school for journalism, or writing?" "Why?" I asked him, confused at the suggestion. "Because you're always writing. You could do something like that," he told me.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was almost like a light bulb went on inside me. Writing as a profession hadn't even crossed my mind once, but once he said that, it got the wheels turning in my head. Over the next while I was thinking about what specifically I could do. One day while on the phone with my dad, he suggested I get my (fan fiction) stories published. I laughed at him. What publisher would want MY stories? Memoirs of a fan, he suggested. That sounded cool. It got those wheels in my head turning a bit more. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd work for a music magazine. That way I could be around my music AND my writing. It was the perfect idea.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next for me is college. I know I"m going to have to work my but off, but it'll be worth it. I'll do anything to achieve my dream and if that means working my butt off for three years, then I'll do it. I'll do anything to achieve my dream.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">----end.<br /><br />Well, it is quite obvious God's dreams aren't the same as my dreams, but that isn't always a bad thing. My love for writing is still there, and I am still waiting for my inspiration to come back. I know that things don't always happen on my time, they happen on God's time. But man oh man, was that ever good to walk down memory lane re-reading this again!</span>mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-24622234090952820372011-10-18T05:14:00.001-07:002011-10-18T05:24:05.029-07:00Kickin It<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<pre><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px; white-space: normal;">Death is such a crummy thing. As a Christian, I know that my loved ones who know Jesus are going to heaven when they pass and that only their time on earth is done. But as a "young" Christian, I still sometimes have trouble coping with loss. I want to be angry with God for taking the loved one from us. It is a very selfish thing to feel, and yet I can't help it.</span></span></pre>
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<pre><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px; white-space: normal;">Last week my best friend and her family lost someone very near and dear to them. Her husbands mother went to heaven on Wednesday and is now "Kickin it" with Jesus. She was in her 64th year, and too young. She was an amazing woman, and her love for her family, God and serving and helping others is and was extraordinary. I'm so glad to be a part of this amazing family, and although they are not my family by blood, they are my family regardless. It makes me sad to see them so broken and hurting, and so when they cry, I cry. </span></span></pre>
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<pre><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px; white-space: normal;">God sometimes has interesting ways of showing you He's still there, and He hears your cries. The night I found out about this lovely lady's passing..I was struggling with my feelings. Disbelief would probably sum it up. Air1 Radio has a program between 10 & 12 pm eastern, and since I knew sleep was not going to come easily this night, I stayed up for the program. I went in the chatroom, and I poured out my heart to those that were listening, and even the DJ said they would pray for me and my family...as did many of the chatters in there. They knew how much I like the song 'Halo' by Manic Drive and they rallied to vote it up to the top so it would get played, and barely five minutes later, it was up there getting played. I mean, maybe it was coincidence. Maybe it was going to get played anyways. I don't know. But I believe that in the midst of my despair God showed up. He gave me a tiny nudge to show me He was listening, and heard my cries. God is neat like that.</span></span></pre>
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<pre><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px; white-space: normal;">I still didn't get much sleep that night. My friend needed someone to talk to, so I also believe God woke me up so I could be there for her. Sometimes I don't understand the nudges until after the fact. Maybe a week or more later. But the nudges are there regardless.</span></span></pre>
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<pre><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px; white-space: normal;">Now while there is a wonderful lady up there kickin it with Jesus, I miss her terribly, but I am so grateful she is now cancer free, she is happy and healthy and as perfect as she can be. I pray that God will heal everyone's hurt and give peace in their hearts.
Until next time my friends...</span></span></pre>
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Of course only I would go to..go to bed and suddenly get the urge to blog...<br />
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The notebook I've been carrying with me is this tiny little red notebook with a ribbon page marker. It reminds me of those notebooks Jamal used to write in, in Finding Forrester. Everything I've written in it up until now has been in pencil. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's so I can erase and re-write, erase and re-write. I gues that's part...<br />
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I lost it. I stopped to play on my iPod and lost the thought. Bad, bad Sarah! I think it was something along the lines of it having the opposite effect to the saying that one should never throw away their writings. You never know when or if you might be able to use it, them. Hmm. Moving on...<br />
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Sometimes I feel like my writing is juvenile. I feel like my words aren't quite as eloquent enough, or mature even. I don't know. I've read things written by peers, and more often then not, they sound much more mature then what I write. I just have to keep on keeping on, I guess.<br />
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I'm going to try and keep this little book by my bed. I have some pretty messed up dreams sometimes and have been told that keeping a dream journal might be helpful for the writing process. The only problem is, writing my dreams down is often not the first thing I'm thinking of doing when I first wake up from them.<br />
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Every time I sit down to write a blog lately, I am reminded of the movie Julie and Julia. Julie wrote a daily blog based on her experiences while cooking through Julia childs cookbook. She gained quite a following from it.<br />
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Wouldn't that be cool? To gain a following from writing a blog. I'm not really very sure that very many people even read this one. I suppose that would also require writing more then one blog a month.<br />
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Well, until next time my friends....mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-21002792304275308942011-09-17T17:33:00.000-07:002011-09-17T17:33:39.697-07:00September 17, 2011 I can never think of creative/interesting enough blog post titles, so I generally just date them. Maybe I should be working on that too, especially if I want to write, :)<br /><br />I signed up for an creative writing course today. It's with Algonquin College, and it's completely online. It works with my work/life schedule. I'm so excited to start the course, I want it to be January like, right now. I could do without the winter, cold and snow though. At the same time, it's kind of scary. I mean, the first time I tried college, it was my first time away from home. I failed miserably. I wanted to write then still, but I took a journalism program. Turns out, it was NOT what I wanted to do either, plus a big majority of personal issues and life in general got in my way. The second time I went to college, it was a community college for Pharmacy Technician/Assistant. Don't get me wrong, either. I love my career, and my job. I work in a long term care facility that dispenses medications to nursing homes and long term care facilities. I love playing a part, even if it is a tiny part, in healthcare. It feels good knowing that I've helped someone's grandmother or great grandmother get the medication they need to help them live a more comfortable day to day life.<br />
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Writing for me, I guess you would say is more of a hobby. If I can take a few courses and improve my hobby, and possibly make a couple dollars, then that's just an added bonus. I love learning. I'm not all that smart, but I love learning. Well no, I'm smart..I guess but there are many subjects which I know little about, and few subjects that I know a lot about. It's just who I am, and I'm okay with that, for the most part. Of course it's fun to have that pipe dream of writing this novel that's going to become the next award winning novel that's going to make me famous and turn into a movie deal that Branjelina will star in, there's no crime in that.<br />
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Until January, I'm on my own..figuring out how to get inspired.mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793400722155701077.post-60045951344881072092011-09-11T13:46:00.000-07:002011-09-11T13:46:49.252-07:00September 11, 2011I haven't written anything in awhile. I suppose I've just been caught up with the busy-ness of life, summer, work and whatnot. I feel bad, this was my...way to sort out what my brain has been trying to process in terms of writing that award winning novel I've been wanting to write. Maybe I've just been lacking inspiration. Who knows.<br /><br />Sometimes I wonder why my imagination won't work as well as some authors who have dozens of popular novels out. Sometimes I'm too critical, and I quit something before I get too far into it. I've been told probably by more then one person, never to quit something, or at least never to throw it out. Who knows if it might be something that you will be able to use later on. I take zumba classes on Tuesdays, and one Tuesday after drinking a particularly large amount of water, I could feel it swishing around in my belly. I was in a fantastic silly mood, so when I got home, I posted a facebook status update that went like this: "note to self: drink water at zumba, but never drink too much! It wooshes around in my belly like the ocean is making waves! I wonder if there is a little man surfing in there...hahaha!!" ..to which a friend responded asking where I come up with those things. I have no clue. Sometimes when I'm feeling silly I think of the dumbest little phrases or sayings. But when it comes time to sit down and write something, I come up blank.<br />
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I bought this notebook that looks like it could be a hardback novel or something. I started writing in it, but not writing my novel just yet, I have been doing research. Research on the structure of what a story should be, research on what kinds of characters are in stories. I'm hoping this will help me when I finally do start writing, or at least it'll help get the ball rolling.<br />
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Today it has been exactly 10 years since the tragedy of 9/11. Ten years ago when that happened, I was in college in Welland, Ontario studying journalism. I was hoping then that I could get a job writing for a magazine, not a newspaper. The course was nothing like I'd hoped it would be, and I flunked out. But, ten years ago when that happened, I was up early in the morning, trying to finish off a paper before I left for class. Slacking off, of course. I was also talking to a friend from another country on msn, and they had told me they were sorry for what happened to my country. Now I'm a Canadian, so I was confused. I turned on the TV behind me, and I saw the 2nd plane crashing into the twin towers, and my heart just sunk to my feet. When I went to class, there was definitely an ominous vibe among everyone around me. Today, I remember that day, and the many lives that were lost as a result of that horrific day. I remember all the police, fire, EMT's and anyone who helped to try and save the people trapped within the rubble. I remember the ones who were lucky enough to make it out alive. That was a sad day indeed, but today I am thankful for my freedom, as well as for the freedom of those around me. I am proud to be a Canadian today (and every day for that matter), and praying that all of those effected by the events of 9/11 can continue to rebuild and continue on with their lives.<br /><br />Onto more research and inspiration...mahonesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11633955425159377160noreply@blogger.com0