Thoughts...

I feel like I am still in shock. That the next time I go to church I'm going to see Derrik and he is going to be smiling and laughing like I usually see him. I hardly knew Derrik, we've barely spoken, but I knew who he was. He was a good man, he loved his kids. He was a member of my church family, and in his passing it is like I've lost one of my own family. I'm still in denial.

As someone who has experienced death on more than one occasion, I can say from experience how easy it is to get angry with God. Why him? Why now? He was too young.

As believers, when a loved one is sick, we pray. We ask God to heal them, take the sickness away. Then when God calls them home, in our grief and suffering, we cry out to Him. What we don't understand is that God did just what we asked Him to do. God healed Derriks body of the cancer by calling him home! Derrik got to rejoice and receive his homecoming on Jesus' birthday. So Derrik is no longer in pain or suffering. In fact, maybe we can be a little envious that he got there before us. Who knows, maybe he is even re-doing the floors in heaven.

I think it's okay to be sad, to grieve, feel angry...God has broad shoulders...He can handle it. As long as we remember that He hasn't abandoned us. He is always with us, walking beside us or even carrying us through the storm. That in him, we can rejoice and have hope.


"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Jesus Calling - January 18

"Breathe deep draughts of My Presence and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!"

I'm gonna make it. Holding onto hope and doing my best to trust that YOU are in control. Knowing that You have something glorious for my future is a good feeling.

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day that the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Jesus Calling - January 16,17

"I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust."

I went into this day unsure if the future, and as the day progressed, I a. ,earning to not trust my feelings, and have a renewed hope for the future.

Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

January 17 

"Stay in continued communication with Me so that you can live above your circumstances even while you are in the midst of them."

Thank You for all that You have given me, and all You are going to give me. I have been blessed beyond what I could ever imagine. Thank You.

2 Corinthians 4:17 - For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and  eternal weight of glory.

Jesus Calling - January 14, 15

January 14

"Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My peace."

Maybe all this time I've been telling people I feel so far from You it'd been exactly the opposite. Maybe I was too blinded by my situation to see You...

Romans 8:38-39 - for I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

January 15

"You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face-to-face with me, your Peace. As long ad you focus on Me, you are safe."

These are the reminders I need. Thank You. I will try to keep searching, trusting and hoping.

Philippians 4:17 - and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus

Jesus Calling - January 12, 13

January 12

"You'd feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize what is on the road ahead. However, there is a better way to be prepared for whatever you will encounter today: Spend quality time with Me."

Some days the unknown is thrilling and exciting, some days it is exactly the opposite. Today I wish I could see the map. Help me dins peace with the unknown and with Your plan...

Exodus 33:14 - And He said, "My presence will go with you  and I will give you rest."

Rest is the very thing I need.

January 13

"Trust that I am with you each moment, whether you sense My presence or not, A thankful, trusting attitude helps you to see events in your life from My perspective."

So many times lately I have said how I feel so far from You. And yet here You are with ANOTHER gentle reminder that you're right here. Help me to trust you with every aspect of my life.

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day that the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Thank You...

Jesus Calling - January 10, 11

January 10th

"Practise trusting Me during quiet days, when nothing seems to be happening. Then when storms comes your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through."

I dint think my trust balance has been sufficient, because the storm is here and I'm not sure how well I'm handling it.

Matthew 6:20-21 - but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

January 11th

"When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me. Speak to Me candidly, pour out your heart."

You keep telling me to trust You. I am trying. The silence makes it hard.

Psalm 46:10 - Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

Jesus Calling - January 7,8,9

I fell a little bit behind. January 8 resonated pretty well with me right now...

January 7

"When you thank Me for the many pleasures I provide, you affirm that I am God, from whom all blessings flow."

I am blessed beyond what words can describe. In my own selfishness I failed to give You thanks. And the blessings keep on coming...

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In everything give thanks, for this is the will if God in Christ Jesus for you.

January 8

"The weaker you are, the more gently I approach you. Let your weakness be a door timMy presence, whenever you feel inadequate, remember that I am your ever-present Help.

Thank You for showing up. The feeling if being inadequate overwhelms me sometimes. Thank You for Your gentle reminders of Your presence when I feel so far from you. 

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble.

January 9

"If you want to stay close to Me and do things My walk ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment."

I know Your timing is perfect. Please give me patience and understanding.

Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing will be impossible

This one I have already underlined in my bible..